


Of Lives Long Past

by GeminiRoseHearts



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Au where the Summoner's past lives were all main characters of the fire emblem games, Edit: I ADDED MORE CHAPTERS BECAUSE I FORGOT ABOUT KATARINA AND ALSO I GOT MORE IDEAS, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Past Lives, Reminiscing, and kiran only remembers when seeing their past lives in askr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-04 10:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12166701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiRoseHearts/pseuds/GeminiRoseHearts
Summary: Kiran remembers





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so this is the first time in a really long time I'm posting a fanfic online. I spent a lot of time feeling insecure about my writing, and I'm absolutely trash at keeping up with chapter fics, but I like doing one shots, so here I am. 
> 
> For now I'll see if anyone likes my writing, please let me know if you enjoyed it, and I'll try to work in my insecurity about my writing ; w ;
> 
> \- Psii

"I feel a strange...kinship with you." 

Kiran knew. They knew what Robin had meant by those words, and why he had felt like that. And for the first time, too. In timelines before, they always forgot. About the past and what role they played. 

This time, Kiran knew. They felt a kinship with Robin too. A little more than that, in reality. They are Robin. Or at least, they used to be. 'The Summoner' is just one of many titles they used to hold. In the life they just came from, they hold no title at all. A modern world a whole universe away from the magic and mythical beasts of this one. It was a strange and mind-hurting concept, and Kiran did not think any being from either world would believe them if they explained who they are, and who they used to be.

Their first lives are faint. But after seeing the Hero-king Marth, they began to remember. They remember being Marth, thrust into war, wielding the legendary blade Falchion. They can vaguely remember friends too. Seeing them again helped to jog the memory. Abel and Cain, the first of many green and red knights. Their best friend, Merric. Their mentor and protector, Jagen. In Askr, Marth doesn't feel anything with Kiran. It's alright, they don't expect him too. After all, that life was so long ago.

Alm and Celica also do not feel anything. They were long ago as well. But Kiran feels. They remember. Alm and his path, Celica and hers. But, Celica, Kiran feels less of, and feels more towards Alm. Kiran can remember being Celica, but more than that he can remember being Alm, this the one to have Falchion. Perhaps, because of their previous life, they remember Alm better through the familiarity of the sword. Maybe Alm was more similar to Marth. Either way, Kiran remembers both, and faintly, the army of the two. Gray, Lukas, Mae, Boey, Clive, Mathilda, Tobin, Genny. Names float in their head, and to see them here is strange, especially when they treat Kiran as a new face rather than an old one.

Kiran summons Seliph one day and remembers more. A life before and with him. They remember being his father, Sigurd, and the agonizing death he came to meet. They remember then being Seliph, and leading an army against the man who killed their father. Reinhardt once said to them that they remind him of a tactician he knew. It's not a life Kiran remembers, it was not a part of them. Instead, they are drawn by Seliph's talk of his father, and how he'll never match up to him. Kiran knows what he means, and wants to reassure him. But as his father or as himself, Kiran does not know.

Lyn often says she feels as if Kiran is familiar, or else reminds her to someone she knew in the past. In truth, Kiran remembers Lyn quite well, as well as Hector and Eliwood. In that life, Kiran's name was Mark, and for the first time, they weren't one of any type of royalty. In fact, they were just a traveler. Kiran remembers being Mark, and willingly deciding to involve themselves in the war. Something unknown had compelled them to do so, some type of need to end any possible conflict. Kiran knew now why that purpose felt so strong, but in that life, it had even bewildered Lyn at times. Kiran could think back more easier on this life, and could remember commanding Eliwood's army at Dread Isle, discovering the truth of Ninian's origin, and finally finding Eliwood's father only for him to be killed. They remembered more names, and with the influx of summons, could put those names to faces. Raven, Serra, Lucius, Matthew, Priscilla, Florina. Lyn once told Kiran sadly that Mark had left after the war, and she never found out why. She described how countries had been clamoring for their skills, wanting a skilled tactician like that to join them. And Kiran had almost cried, hearing about how their service in the war had made such an impact. They could not remember why they left. Nor could they even remember how that life ended.

They do remember how the next one began. Roy often spoke of his father, and unbeknownst to him, Kiran knew exactly what he meant. They remembered looking up to him as much as he does, and remembered being Roy and leading an army with Lilina. It had initially been a bit strange to see their allies from that life, as now that they knew about their past lives, it was like Kiran knew them both as children of their former comrades and their current comrades. Nevertheless, Kiran was happy to see them again, and had been even happier to watch Lilina reunite with Hector. Even if the later did not know who she was, he was overjoyed to see the daughter from his dreams, and forged a close bond with her, even if this Hector came from a time before her.

Erika appeared to Kiran much sooner than Ephraim. And as they both appeared, Kiran could recall being both of them. Unlike with Celica and Alm, Kiran could remember each of those lives fairly equally. It made those lives even more confusing, as Kiran could recall seeing Erika through Ephraim's eyes and Ephraim through Erika's eyes. And sometimes, when they think back to fights with enemies like Valter, Kiran does not who's eyes they are seeing it through. The only way Kiran used to know was wether Seth was present or not. But after their two past lives reunited, the memories blurred and became impossible to separate. Often times, if Kiran thought too hard in it, they would start to feel faint, and they'd be forced to put it out of their mind. 

Soren was summoned first, and often made snide remarks about Kiran's tactics, among demands to know where Ike was. And Kiran found it both endearing and annoying. Annoying because of the life they currently lived. Endearing because of the one they used to live. The mage stopped asking as soon as Kiran returned to the castle with Ike in tow, instead focusing all his attention on the mercenary. Kiran watched and remembered; if Soren only knew. Kiran was aware of Soren's past, and therefore, never retorted against him. They knew quite well, and knew even more when Ike appeared and Kiran could remember more. The Griel mercenaries, the Black Knight, their father, the twin swords. The laguz and their hatred, Soren and his hatred. Titania, their mentor, Mist, their sister. Soren would never know just how close Kiran was to him. Ike himself will never know how close Kiran is to him. But, they are not Ike anymore. It hardly mattered. 

Memories become sharp and clear with Robin. Kiran knows all about being them, both of them, and knows how they weren't always white haired and average in height. This was by far the most versions of a single life Kiran could remember, as they remembered being of all heights, all genders, with all kinds of hair styles and colors, and enough faces and classes to make up an entire army. Regardless of appearance, the life was generally the same. A tactician with amnesia, slowly learning the truth, while helping the Exalted prince Chrom fight against Gangrel, later Walhardt, and finally, Validar and Grima. Only to learn the truth behind their amnesia, and what their born purpose had been. Chrom often mentions how Kiran reminds him of Robin. Kiran was tempted to tell him, but the prince wouldn't have understood, nor believed that once, Kiran was Robin, as well as the ancestors that held the sword hanging from the Exalt's hip. Truly, back then, when Tiki had said they were more like Marth than Chrom was, they were in disbelief how that could be truth. If only they'd known how true that was.

Recent memories of being Corrin were like Robin's, only twice as numerous. Not only were the past lives of all different appearances, but many were of all different choices made. Both Xander and Ryoma insisted on Kiran seeing them as a brother, and they could remember being in timelines without only one or the other or that one with both. Camilla and Hinoka were protective of them, Sakura and Elise looked up to them. They knew Leo's familiar attempted stoicism and Takumi's forced prickliness. They remembered members of the army of both sides. They knew now the truth behind Laslow, Selena and Odin, and often they would roll their eyes when any of them would insist about being of one world, only to greet their parents of a different world then that of Nohr as if nothing was strange. They knew so much now, and could only watch the two Corrins from the sidelines with their siblings, feeling the ache of wanting to be them, but knowing that that's not their life anymore.

This life was not of origin in Askr, but a reality separate from the one they'd known. It was only when they came to Askr did they realize this, but before, all of this, the world, their past lives, had been mere characters in a game to them. They remember playing all the games, "living" those lives. Controlling them and making decisions as them, not realize the truth behind it all. When they were summoned to Askr through their phone, they couldn't believe it at first, that this world was real. By now, Kiran knew that not only was this world real, but their past lives had been in this world. It wasn't just a game they played, but wars actually fought in, people they actually knew. Seeing some of their past lives here was strange, and thinking about it too hard made Kiran's head hurt and heart clench. 

But the lives they lived had had purpose, and they hoped to live many more. Wether in this world or the next, they won't know. Kiran cherishes knowing the knowledge they do now. Because they know, once this life is over, they'll forget. And they'll never know if they'll ever remember their long journey and experiences ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else remembers, and Kiran has deja vu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone mentioned Katarina's level 40 dialogue and I somehow forgot about it, so I'm adding a chapter with that and then some
> 
> I have no self control
> 
> \- Psii

"In my world, there was someone very dear to me. You've always reminded me of that person. That person was like a Hero to me but is neither in this world or that one. So I did some reading about other worlds here, and I came to a curious conclusion. You are that person."

Out of all the Heroes Kiran has met so far, Katarina had figured it out; the truth behind them. Well, not exactly. The day Katarina approached them and explained that not only were they exactly like someone she knows, but in fact she believes that they MUST be that person, Kiran had outwardly remained calm but inwardly felt emotions of all kinds raging in a violent storm. The memories exploded forward, similar to the way they did whenever Kiran remembered a past life, but this one almost had them staggering.

"...what?" It was all they could think to say. And thankfully, it had come out sounding lightly confused, rather than the strangled wheeze they feared it'd be. 

"I know...I know... It makes no sense. Perhaps it's even unsettling to hear such a thing! Whether I am wrong or you simply don't recall those days, I pledge my service to you fully. I'm not sure I'm always the most competent person in your group, but I will always give you my best!"

Katarina had been quick to dismiss the concept, and Kiran thought perhaps their reaction had been a little TOO convincing. Kiran could only nod and smile, dismissing themselves under the pretense that they had a meeting to attend. In truth, that meeting had ended 30 minutes ago. Wandering away into more empty halls, Kiran tried to get a grip on themselves.

Why was this epiphany rattling them so much? They're hands felt weak, as if they're been holding onto something too long, and their body felt strange and foreign. This was normal, they always felt like this after remembering. But something akin to unease made their stomach churn, and their heart was pounding. That was not normal. After a minute, Kiran decided it was because Katarina had just brought up to them a secret they've been carefully hiding from other Heroes, resisting the urge to tell them that they were them in the past lives, or else knew them as friends, family, or even enemies. She's laid it out so plainly and matter-of-factory, her casualness had shaken them. 

They could remember this life now. And why they couldn't remember until now, they think they know why. Much like their time as Ephraim and Erika, two of their past lives had existed in the same timeline, in the same universe. When they were Marth, they knew themselves as their knight, Kris. And as Kris, they came to serve their own self, the prince named Marth. Katarina had been the first to connect the dots, connect Kiran to that past life, and memories came in from a different perspective. From Kris's perspective. The expectation of their grandfather, the Seventh Platoon, Marth and his friendship, the crushing realization of losing Altea, the rekindled hope after the war ended. Katarina's betrayal...and her ultimate turn-around. Kiran stopped as they reached the outside gardens. It was evening, and the fresh air was helping them breathe easier and calm down. 

...Katarina. Their best friend. Their...former best friend. No doubt they've grown close in this realm and universe, but Katarina knew of them. Or rather, suspected. Kiran had said or done nothing to confirm her theory. And knowing her, she wouldn't treat it as true if Kiran didn't agree that it was. Their secret was safe, and no one would think otherwise. However...

...Kiran missed them. They missed their friends and family from their past lives. Seeing them again hurt sometimes, knowing that they'll never recognize them. The temptation had been strong, to just lay everything out and confess, but Kiran knew that wouldn't help. It was be too strange, too confusing. And they don't know how it could reflect on their relationship with the Heroes. They were no Hero King, no master tactician, no mercenary. They were once a knight, a father and his son, a general, a leader of armies. They remember being each of a pair of twins, a sibling torn between families, and the very vessel of all evil itself. No longer. They weren't those people any longer. Caeda was not their fiancé, Marth was not their liege. Seliph was not their son, Sigurd was not their father. They followed Lyn into war once, but that's not for Kiran to claim. Eliwood does not remember fathering them, and they do not expect he will. Ephraim and Erikia were both their twin, in a time that's since long past. Alm was Kiran's childhood friend, as was Celica, in a life not currently their's. Chrom can say they're familiar to Robin, but here, Robin exists and Kiran is not them. The Hoshidans and Nohrians flood the two Corrins with attention, and love. Kiran craves it, but knows it's not their place. Not anymore.

The sun had set almost completely. Their legs hurt from standing so long in one place. It would be so easy to tell them, but not easy to explain. It would be better for them, and for Kiran, if they never spoke a word to anyone. After all, they had new bonds to forge, bonds as themselves, this life. Kiran. They've already established so many, what did it matter who they used to be? What mattered was what was now, right? 

Kiran sat on the grass. It still hurt. And knowing that Katarina was there, with the truth so close, it was harder than ever to accept their fate this time. They took deep breathes. The churning had not ceased. They considered turning in, things would be better tomorrow, they'll feel better tomorrow. 

Those lives were over, Kiran knew that. Sometimes, they wished they didn't know in the first place.

 

 

Kiran awoke with a jolt. It was freezing. The moon hung high in the sky, half full, illuminating the garden with a faint light. They'd fallen asleep on the grass outside. Behind them, the castle was noticeably quieter. 

How long have they been out here? Kiran sat up, rubbing their face. Whatever, they'd just head to to their room. It's not like the castle would be locked. Getting up, they noted how they were still shaky, and they still felt disconnected from their body, like watching themselves move rather than actually being the one to control the movement. The short nap had not helped to settle their insides either. Perhaps sleep on a real bed will. 

Kiran made it halfway to their room before they ran into a nightly patrol. Normally, one of the Askran soliders would be doing it. But sometimes, Heroes who were restless at night would also volunteer to patrol the castle. As was the case here. Not unusual. But it was what they said that had Kiran halting in their tracks. 

"Robin? Is that you?"

In that moment, Kiran had to resist the urge to answer "yes".

"Oh, Kiran. What are you doing up so late?" 

It was Prince Chrom. The regular one, not the festive one. Falchion was at his hip, and he was wearing his usual armor. 

"I had a long day today and went out to the gardens. I only laid down for a second, but I ended up falling asleep. I'm heading back to my room now."

"Ah, I see. Be careful then, and goodnight."

Kiran walked away feeling more disconnected than ever. They couldn't feel themselves heading in the stairs, going down the hall. That encounter had...been too close. It was eerily too close to a memory that felt not so long ago...

 

 

_He awoke with a start. What time was it? He couldn't tell, not with the study that had no windows. The candle he'd been using to read had long since gone out, so it must be around midnight. It was dark, so he relit the candle. Papers of battle plans were scattered everywhere, and thankfully, he had not spilled ink on them like the last time he fell asleep at his desk. It had taken two days to recover when he lost. Not an experience he was keen to repeat._

_Standing, he groaned as his bones cracked and his muscles stretched. Chrom was always scolding him about working late into the night, but he wanted to feel ready. They'd be leaving the castle in just a day's time, to intercept invading forces from the sea, so he wanted to be ready. Gathering up his notes into his books and tucking them under his arm, he grabbed the candle and held it in front of him as he exited the study and down the dark hallways. Thankfully, his room was only a floor above, as he'd hate to walk any further than need be when he was this tired._

_"Robin? Is that you?"_

_Chrom came from around the corner, holding his own candle. He was out of his armor, dressed in casual clothing, but regardless, his sword hung at his hip. A habit ever since Emmeryn's almost assassination in the castle..._

_"Yes, Chrom. What are you still doing up?"_

_"I could ask you the same question."_

_"You know why I'm up."_

_"Yes, and that's exactly why I'm up too." They were close now, standing close enough to make out each other's faces. Robin raised his eyebrows._

_"Is that really why?"_

_"Well, no. I actually just got up because I couldn't sleep and wanted to walk for a bit. But I thought you might still be up, so I came down here to take you to bed."_

_"A weird way of asking, but I'm afraid I'm too tired tonight."_

_"You KNOW what I mean, you awful tease." Robin chuckled lowly, and despite his annoyed tone, Chrom was smiling._

_"I know. Don't worry, I'm off to bed right now, you won't have to escort me. Try not to get lost or break anything on your walk."_

_"Unfortunately, no promises. Be careful, and goodnight." They went their separate ways, Robin upstairs, Chrom down the hallway. When Robin reach his room, he glanced out the window at the moon. It glowed half full in the sky, surrounding by a myriad of stars. The scent of the spring breeze put him at ease. It was warm...._

 

 

They felt themselves drift back into reality. It was slow, starting from their fingers and toes and hands and feet all the way up to their head. When they awoke, Kiran was in their bed, having managed to make it back to their room the night before. The morning sun peeked through their drapes, and though they still felt a little disconnected, for the most part, Kiran felt in control of themselves. Of course, after such a familiar scene that night, they'd remember a memories from their life as Robin. Which Robin, they don't know. It could've been from any timeline. They start to merge when put too much thought into. They'd have to get up soon, to do whatever tasks that day called for.

But for now, they stayed where they were and reminisced. It wasn't good for them, they knew it'd just make them miss their old lives even more. In that moment, they didn't care. The familiarity between themselves and an old friend. They wouldn't get it now. And they never will with any of the Heroes.

Just this once, they'll allow themselves to remember again, rather than try and forget. In the end, they'll always have to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might write more, but I dunno if I'll write out a scene from each of Kiran's past lives. I might if this gets popular enough

**Author's Note:**

> If I was less lazy I'd draw something of this too, but I'm a big loser hnnnngh


End file.
